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Living in a Fix-It Society

Matthew Kelly  /  03/08/10

We live in a fix-it society. Turn on your television on any given day and just surf through the channels. One commercial after another, one infomercial after another, they are all offering to fix something. There is a fix for heartburn and a fix for obesity, a fix for sleeplessness, and a fix for diarrhea. There is a fix for runny noses, ugly noses, stuffy noses. There is a fix for hair loss and a fix for pimples. There is a fix for debt and a fix for loneliness.

Psychiatrist Gerald May makes the observation that in all kinds of advertising, from the blatant affront of TV commercials to the subtleties of word-of-mouth, nothing can escape the fix. And it's not just that fixes are offered. The message also is that one "ought" to be fixed. That if perchance one should pass a certain fix by, not partake of its wondrous possibilities, one really isn't being very responsible for one's self.

There are two problems with all of this fixing. First, some of the things that people are trying to fix about us, and that we are trying to fix about ourselves are not broken. They are exactly as they are intended to be. Some of the imperfections that we are obsessed with changing are part of our perfection. Being perfectly yourself means being perfectly imperfect. And second, for everything else that doesn't fall into the first category, if you look a little more closely you will discover that we are just treating symptoms rather than actually fixing anything at all. If you have heartburn or cannot sleep at night, you should be asking yourself what it is about your lifestyle that is creating the problem.

Our lives genuinely improve only when we grow in virtue. Any other change is simply cosmetic. If we really want to improve ourselves, our lives, and our society, then we need to begin to switch the focus off of money, celebrity, and talent and onto character and virtue.

Growing in virtue is the work of our lives. Everything that happens, everything we do is just an opportunity to grow in virtue. When the person in front of you is fumbling through her purse to find the forty-nine cents for the cashier and you are beginning to get restless and frustrated, what's really happening? It's just an opportunity for you to grow in patience. Make virtue your goal, and you will find that the moments of the day come bearing the gift of opportunity.

But if we truly wish to grow in virtue, we must wean ourselves off of instant gratification. Not only do we live in a fix-it society, but we also live in a quick-fix society. We overlook character and virtue because they are not quick fixes. Both require time and effort.

Growing in virtue is not easy. It requires real and constant effort. But the beauty of this effort is that if you grow in one virtue, you will automatically grow in every other virtue. If you decide to focus on becoming a more patient person, you will automatically become a kinder person. Kindness and patience are interconnected. It is easier for a patient person to be kind, just as it is easier for a patient person to be generous, because a patient person is not consumed with his or her own gratification. If you focus your efforts on becoming a more temperate person, you will automatically become a more just person. An honest person finds it easier to be patient and just. A patient person finds it easy to control his temper or practice moderation.

You may be wondering where you should begin. The answer is different for every person. You alone must decide. Just pick a virtue: honesty, patience, moderation, kindness, humility, courage, perseverance, compassion, hope, charity, generosity, wisdom, gentleness. Pick a virtue and focus on developing that virtue in yourself. Write it down. Remind yourself each morning. Stop to reflect on your progress at intervals throughout the day and at the end of each day. Reflect on times when you have exercised the virtue and times when you should have but did not. As the days and weeks pass, you will be able to objectively say, "I am becoming a more generous person" or "I am becoming a more honest person." Then celebrate your progress.

Focus on one virtue for a couple of weeks, and then switch your focus to another virtue. One virtue at a time, you will begin to build a castle of character to live in.

In each moment of the day, just do the next right thing. When you feel yourself losing your temper, control it. When you recognize that you are getting impatient, breathe deeply and allow the moment to give you the gift of patience. When you encounter someone in need, be generous with your time, talents, or treasure. In each moment, just do the next right thing and your life will begin to flood with joy.

This article has been reprinted with permission from Perfectly Yourself: 9 Lessons for Enduring Happiness, Ballantine Books copyright 2006 by Matthew Kelly.

Perfectly Yourself: 9 Lessons for Enduring Happiness available for purchase on Amazon.com.

Matthew Kelly books are also available at http://www.matthewkelly.org/bookstore/books-by-matthew

Matthew Kelly is an inspired man and contributing writer for iibloom.com. Matthew is an extraordinary author and speaker who relays that God's dream for each of us is to become the-best-version-of-ourselves. Visit http://www.matthewkelly.org.